I should get my shed painted.
I should go work out.
I should get to bed or I’ll be tired in the morning.
I should eat better.
Or maybe it’s the big tickets items – I should leave my relationship, get a new job, tell the truth and so on.
I was very fortunate to take Louise Hay’s Heal Your Life® certification training a few years ago. One of my biggest takeaways was hearing Louise say “Don’t should all over yourself.” Why? Because I do it ALL the time. I have caused myself more guilt over the years than Hines has pickles (ohhh… I love an opportunity to use that old goodie).
Here is the phrase that Louise Hay uses to replace the shoulds:
“If I really want to, I can go work out today.”
“If I really want to, I can eat healthier food.”
“If I really want to, I can leave this relationship.”
It seems like such a silly difference, but I promise you this… if you practice switching the language around and saying this out loud, you will immediately feel the difference in your body and your mind.
When we say “I should” our body feels heavy and our mind feels guilt or dread.
When we say “if I really want to I can” our body feels neutral or strong and our mind feels empowered.
I’m a work in progress, but I am much better at this now than I have ever been. My latest example is with my shed… for months I would glance at it and say “I should get that painted.” When it finally dawned on me to change my words to “if I really want to, I can paint my shed” I was free from the guilt of not having done it yet.
Guess what? It’s now half painted… and if I really want to, I can finish it. 🙂
I spent years shoulding all over myself, have you?